Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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