I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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