someone threw a dead crab at me
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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