I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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