i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize