we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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