In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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