I want to stick my p in your. b.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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