i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize