Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize