had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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