Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
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We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
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All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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