So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize