so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize