This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
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Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
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Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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