just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
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No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
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I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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