Got a toothbrush?
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize