i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
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