Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize