they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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