hell yes lets make some ravioli
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
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well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
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He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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