Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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