just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize