so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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