I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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