we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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