3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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