would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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