I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
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Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
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WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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