dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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