my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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