Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
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