I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
please come you make the beer taste better
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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