I wanna passion pit in your ass
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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