I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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