Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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