Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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