I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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