i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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