FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize