he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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