dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
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who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
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Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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