just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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