if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize