I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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