I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If that was your dad, he is hot
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize