3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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