I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize