My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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