If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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